why worry ?

jesus ordered us not to worry

it seems simple and easy

until i noticed all the problems i was having because i worried 

i see cartoon like people and i think of them as angels who came here to make the world fairer and better but they would sink or attack me and i couldn't figure out why until i realized even the slightest amount of stress or worry would cause them to act so

when they first showed up i might have recently had a stroke which must have meant i had hypertension, which is related to high blood pressure and possibly to stress

i think hypertension has something to do with worrying and tension and stress cause many symptoms to act out in psych conditions

whatever is going on in my head - it does not like things to not work well and it does not like unnecessary problems 

and it does not like stress

an interesting thing happened to me when i decided not to worry i guess it was last summer, in 2019 after i read jesus telling us not to worry in a new light - like it was a command instead of just good advice

i went to the bank to deposit some money in the account i used to buy stuff online and i had wanted to go swimming at the pool in the hotel - it used to cost $7 to just use the pool

but i started to worry about feeling embarrassed if they would say no, i couldn't use the pool

so i was going to call them on the phone instead which would involve digging out my phone from the back pack charging it up etc and the hotel was right next door to the bank

then i remember - jesus actually ordered us not to worry - so i said ima not gonna worry about it and i walked over to the hotel and asked them if i could use the pool and they said no it's only for guests and i did feel a little embarassed, but i didn't worry about it because as i was walking over to the hotel i found a $100 bill and later went swimming, weightlifting and played some hoops at umpi for $7

since then i have had many other similar episodes where i would ordinarily worry but instead i've been training my mind not to even in the least and things have really improved in my real world life 

like one day about 2 months ago i was in my tent in the woods and i heard 2 men talking as they were walking up the trail and i could tell they were going to try to make me worry

they yelled 'good morning how are you!' but i didnt move and forced myself not to worry then one of them said 'they might be in the tent' and the other said 'let's walk up a little way' and they did

i was sure it were the property owners coming to kick me out and i tried not to worry and did pretty good i looked at my hand and it was shaking just the tiniest bit so i thought 'not bad' but the cartoon people said it was proof that i worried and started to sink

so i lifted them up as best i could and evaced into town telling them 'let's use this to our advantage' and instead of worrying about it i called nancy our town manager and told her i thought the property owners were going to kick me out or maybe shoot me and she got me an apartment that day